Spilling Life Tea

Blog about all things lifestyle, home, fashion and being a woman.

The last 20 years and me

You may have noticed I have been a bit absent. I have been suffering from my mental health. @0 years ago on Christmas night. I was raped. It impacted me then and now. Yes, it has been 20 years. Yes, every year it gets easier but for some reason, it has hit me like a ton of bricks this year.
I really struggled with the new year. I found my thoughts turned dark and I wanted to curl into a ball and hide. I feel lucky to have made it this far. There were times in the last 20 years I thought I would not be able to continue living.

Let's start with the first few years. I had little to no support after the crime. Not from my family and not from the police. I lived very rurally and to go to a councillor would have been a 3-hour trip each way so 6 hours in total. My family was not willing to do this. You see my attacker was in my family. They wanted it all to disappear. I left home as soon as I could and moved to Edinburgh. to go to college.  I moved in with family But once they got sick of me.  I moved into a rented room. Here is where I found a love of food.

In Edinburgh, I drank too much dropped out of college and started acting. I need to block out my feeling and pain. I felt I was the problem. Here is where I really realised I was on my own in life. Over the next few years, I gained a lot of weight and tipped the scales at a size 24. Food filled a hole inside me.

I was struggling badly. I decided I needed to move closer to home. I enrolled in acting college and moved back up north. The next few years I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. This eventually ended with him cheating on me with a schoolgirl. I was with this person for over 5 years. I lost 7 and a half stone at the end of this relationship.

I had a wonderful friend at this time and she picked me up and helped me get on my feet again. I went back to partying. I got a new job in the police and I finally felt ok. Here I met my now husband and my life was finally getting better.

I went into the police as an officer from a civilian in the police. everything was great until my tutour got a new job and I received a female tutor who went on to bully me. Badly about being dyslexic. I went into a deep depression period. I could not leave my house.

The Christmas before our wedding. There was a huge fall out with my family. After years of no support I finally with my husband's help got rid of them out my life. This made me very ill.

My husband got me a dog. She changed my life. slowly I got well. I left the police. We moved house.
I started blogging.

I have so many things to celebrate in the last 10 year, But mostly it is finding my husband. I am finally loved. I still have a lot of wobbles and I always expect him to leave me. But he is my saviour. I have learned to love myself more. I am slowly getting better at this. This will be an ongoing thing for me.

I can not stand all the fakeness around the holidays. So many people with perfect lives it is intimidating. Except everyone I know does not have perfect lives. They are real. But they post the best of themself online. I will never be that person. If this post does not show that I don't know what will.

I am a rape survivor. I am a cheating survivor. I am an anxiety and depression survivor. I am a self-selected orphan. I have survived when the odds were against me. I am me. I am weak and strong. I am real. I am not Instagramming perfect I am honest.












How to cope when you are down.

Life is a funny thing. No matter your situation there are hurdles in life and challenges. I want to talk about how to cope with life when its mentally challenging and the stress can seem overwhelming. I personally suffer with anxiety and depression. I know the feeling of dread and despair. No matter who you are everyone has dark days. It can be difficult to see any light in the world when things start to close in. 


1. Breath. Yes, I know you are thinking. I am breathing. Stop what you are doing. Move to another room and relax. Sit on the floor and concentrate on your breath. Think about the movement of your body. take a deep breath, Really deep. Count to 5 as you exhale. Do this for 10 minutes. This will centre yourself back to the moment. When you are in grips of a panic attack or dark place. Your mind is flooded with every bad thing you have done or said. Breathing gives you a chance to literary catch a breath. 

2. Lie on the floor and listen to a guided meditation. Personally, I just go on youtube and find one that is over 10 minutes long. Feel yourself on the ground. Let your mind go. Just focus on meditation. 

3. Get a note pad and pen. Write down everything that is bothering you. EVERYTHING. ok it is now on paper. Now I want you to imagine your best friend or partner has come to you with this list. I want you to write down what you would say to them if this list was theirs? You would tell them not to worry you would give them solutions, would you? This can really help you to work through problems. Try it. 

4. Work out. It doenst matter your size or shape. Working out is a great way to release stress. This is one of the big things in my life that helps me rebalance. I am not saying hit the gym. But do something that makes you happy. Do you like to walk? Do out and walk. Do you like being on a bike? Get a turbo trainer and spin away. I know a lot of the time when I am going through a dark time. I can not leave the house. So I work out at home. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable just move your body. 

5. Talk. Talk to someone. Your partner,  your best friend, your parent. Just talk. Call the doctor and make an appointment if you need help. This is one of the best things I ever did. We are so lucky to live in a world where there is access to amazing mental health help. 

I hope you have liked this post. What do you do to feel better. 









can underfloor heating help with allergies?

living with an allergy, no matter the type of allergy is no fun.
A runny nose, itchy and watery eyes and just a generally groggy
feeling, all of these things can get you down.
One of the most commonplace allergies out there,
as well as one that is hard to avoid or treat is a dust mite allergy.
Not only does it cause the above symptoms, but also, in severe cases
there can be tightness in the chest, shortness of breath and wheezing too.
Whilst hoovering is important to keep your home clean and dust free,
the action of hoovering will actually release dust mites into the air,
as well as walking on the carpet or moving around a rug. You might
not realise it, but radiators are also a huge part of the problem as
they cause the dust to circulate around the home.
This doesn’t mean that you have to resign yourself to a cold and
uninviting home, in fact, underfloor heating might just be the
answer that you are searching for.
How underfloor heating can help with allergies
As we have already discovered, radiators, whilst being effective
at heating your home, are also responsible for dust mite issues too.
When the heat, they create convection, which means that the heat
rises and moves through the air, taking with it the dust.
Underfloor heating doesn’t cause convection to occur, which means
that the hot air doesn’t move around and the dust doesn’t move with it.
Keeping your home warm and your air dust free too. The ideal
combination for those who are trying to cope with their allergies.
Other ways to help beat dust mites in the home
Whilst underfloor heating is an effective way to try and combat dust
mite issues in your home, it isn’t the only thing you can do. It is also
a good idea to opt for wooden floors over carpets as these are much
less likely to hold onto dust and are also easier to clean too.
You should also, where you can try to keep your pets out of your
bedrooms, which is where you are most likely to breathe in and be
aggravated by the dust mites in the air. Of course, this isn’t always
possible, so if you are unable to do this, then make sure that you
wash your bedding as much as you can, as well as dust any pieces
of furniture that could accumulate dust over time too.
Thinking about investing in underfloor heating
If the idea that you could improve the dust levels in your
home is tempting you to purchase underfloor heating, but
you need an extra push. Then take a look at the different
ways that underfloor heating is a great investment.
It can help improve the look of your home- Even the most
designer and stylish of radiators may not look as good as
having a bare wall. Also, they are going to take up space.
By choosing underfloor heating you are going to be able to
get rid of those radiators and really make the room look its best.
It improves the value of your home- Whilst you may have
no plans to sell your home, you never know what is around the corner.
Not only should you think about changes that you can make to
your home in order to make your life easier, but also what is
going to improve the value of your home in the future too.
Something that underfloor heating can do.
It saves you money in your heating bills- No-one likes to have to send out
on their energy bills, however, this is part and parcel of life.
However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t find ways to save money.
Underfloor heating is one of these ways.
If you or anyone else in your home is struggling with allergies or perhaps
asthma symptoms and you want to find a way to help them, perhaps
you should try underfloor heating? Not only is it a fantastic way to heat
your home and ensure that you don’t have to pay a huge energy bill,
but as this article proves, it has other benefits too.

There are a number of ways that you can go, one of which is to invest
in a wet underfloor heating kit. Which is not only easy to install,
but also could boost the value and saleability of your property too.
All good things if you ask me.

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cheap ways to update your kitchen

Well is it me or when the sun is out you start to look at thing differently? It's time to talk about updating your kitchen. I love nothing more than refreshing my house.  I wanted to share with you how to update your kitchen with minimal cost. The kitchen is after all the heart of your home. 

I want to introduce you to my new obsession, Kitchen Warehouse. I Can spend hours on their site designing and imagining my new kitchen. Fantastic site for everything from kitchen units and accessories. I even plan my future kitchens there. 

There are so many easy fixes which can change the whole feeling of your kitchen. 

1. First things first Pick a new colour pallet, I personally like neutral colours in my kitchen. These are easy to maintain and also easier changed if the mood takes you. Painting your kitchen a new colour can really change the feeling in the kitchen. Plus it makes it lighter and brighter. There is nothing like a lick of paint to revamp a room. 


2. What about replacement kitchen doors, This is a cost-effective way of changing your kitchen units. I think nothing dates a kitchen like outdated units. This is a simple, less time-consuming way to modernize your kitchen. It is also one of the easiest things to change when you have just moved into a property. Come on think back to your first home. Not many of us have the money to redo the kitchen straight away but this option breath's fresh air into the kitchen without the huge outlay of money. 

3. Why not replace those dated drawer handles. This is a super simple way to change the appearance of the kitchen. Swap out the old-fashioned handles with modern chrome ones and this will update and renew your doors instantly. 


4. Change those old light fitting to new LED lighting and your whole room will benefit from the light. Taking an old dingy room and turning it into a light and roomy paradise for cooking. Or what about spotlights. They work wonder to the room's ambience. 


5. Get rid of the old curtains and welcome in some new blinds. This can really open up the light you get from your window. I love letting light into my home. I feel it can really brighten up your mood. The more light you have the better you feel so incorporate this in your kitchen.


6. Think of your appliances as deco. Is it time to replace the kettle toaster and blender. How long have you had them? Why not get a new modern or traditional set. Think of the theme throughout your room. Would an old fashion style kettle look better in your kitchen? Why not use this as an excuse to treat your self to a new one.

7. What about adding a rug. This can give your kitchen a real luxury feel. It is not only nice on the eye but it is nice on your feet too. Let's face it times have changed and we all have wooden or vinyl flooring in the kitchen. Why not give your feet a treat whilst you are washing the dishes of a new rug.

8. Flowers and fruit. Adding a nice flower or fruit display can really life to a room. whilst adding a pop of colour. At this time of year, I like to put lemons and limes in a vase. It really makes a focal point and in winter add some pine cones. It's just the simplest of things but people always tell me how lovely it looks.

should all have genetic testing. Is it really worth the hype?

cells genetic testing
Well, the weather outside has become warm and the clocks have changed. It is officially summer. I don't know about you but when the winter comes rolling in, it has me thinking more. Lately, I have been thinking about my health

A little background about me that is relevant before we continue. I have no contact with my biological family. I have been thinking lately about genetic health conditions. I have gone to the doctors many times and been asked those fundamental questions? Does your family have a history of....? My answer is always the same. I don't know.  I don't have the luxury of picking up the phone and asking someone for answers. I have been debating for a long time about having a genetic health test. I thought I would take you along with me as I do my research. 

When you think about genes, you don't really think much past, we get them to from our parent and they determine your physical attributes like eye colour and height. Right? But if we took genetic more seriously we could find out so much more about ourselves. Our genes also determine if we are more likely to get certain illness and conditions. It can test for many types of cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and diabetes. These illnesses can be determined by abnormal genes which can be hereditary.  I am not saying all these illnesses can be related to genes but it is one of the factors involved in many cases. 

What is genetic testing? 
 Basically, it provides you with information about your chromosomes and genes. This helping you identify potential tendency to develop a particular disease or illness. 

How is the test done? 
There are numerous ways to have genetic testing from a simple cheek swab to a blood sample. Every company does it differently. Some are at home tests. Where you receive a kit and instructions or you attended a clinic. Always check that the clinic or company is registered with the relevant governing bodies be for ordering the test. 

Why we should all have then done. 
first and foremost to find out if you are susceptible to particular disease or illnesses. This is not saying you have the illness. It is saying you are more liable for it. Do not take the test as a positive result for an illness. This can only be done by your doctor. It is just to give you an insight into your make up.  Next, if you are planning children. Wouldn't it be nice to know what you are potentially passing on to them? Some people can be a carrier of an illness and not even know about it. They themselves may show no sign of the disease but they can pass it on to any children. This test is just an extra bit of peace of mind. 

I have got all my information from qluhealth.com. Why not go an check them out. I am definitely convinced they are a fantastic idea and think they should be more readily available. Could you imagine if everyone had one and your doctor had all the information? This could give you a better chance of early diagnosis and potentially save your life. 



6 Easy and cheap At Home Self-Care Ideas

woman sitting crossed legged in mirror looking happy in white onesie

Self-care is something of a hot topic at the moment, and at times has been criticised for simply not being affordable enough for everyone in its current guise. After all, not everyone has the budget to treat themselves to a pumpkin spiced latte or a new pair of shoes whenever they have a bad day. If you’re looking for simple and affordable ways to implement self-care at home, check out the tips below. Many of these ideas can be worked into a busy schedule, too, so they’re ideal for parents, professionals or anyone who has a lot on their plate already.

1. Write a list

Taking a minute to write a list of whatever is going on in your mind requires very little time, effort and resources, and yet the benefits can be noticeable. All you need is a scrap of paper and a pen, and a couple of minutes alone - you could even lock yourself in the bathroom to do this if you need to. Your list could be a to-do list, to help order your mind and feel less stressed, or it could be a list of thoughts or feelings you’re having. If you want to take this further, you could make it into a daily practice and even write a list of things you’re grateful for before you go to sleep. This can help to ground you in the present moment and feel calmer for the rest of the day. Some people like to use a list app to do this, which allows them to make lists any time.


2. Track Your Mood
If you’re feeling stressed out, anxious or down a lot of the time, a useful technique for tracking your moods is to simply make a note every day of how you feel. As with most things, there are now mood apps for this, but you can also do this in your diary, on a calendar or even on post-its. Looking back on how your mood has changed over the past few weeks or months can help to shift the feeling that nothing is really changing, as you’ll probably notice that some days are better than others. This can help you to become more optimistic and, like with tracking your bank balance, keeps you aware of what your mood has been like throughout the month.

3. Spend Time Alone
As difficult as it can be if you have a busy schedule or a house full of children, spending a bit of time alone is an incredibly effective way to relax and de-stress. As little as 15 minutes to yourself can have a significant impact on your emotional and mental health, providing that you spend it doing something you enjoy. This could be sitting quietly, reading, dancing to your favourite music, or taking a soak in the tub in your stylish bathroom suite. Taking time out to do this regularly will help you to feel calmer and allow you to manage everyday stresses a lot better, so it really is worth it.

4. Try Meditation
It’s not for everybody, but many people find that short meditation practice is exactly what they need to calm down, de-stress and focus on themselves. In today’s fast-paced world, it’s very rare that we sit and do nothing, especially without a screen in front of us. Doing this with a free meditation app can help introduce you to the principles of meditation, and once you get the hang of it you can do it just about anywhere. Meditation has been proven to be highly effective at reducing stress, so it’s worth giving it a try, even if you’re doubtful that it would work for you.

5. Switch off.
Recent studies have shown that adults spend an average of nine hours a day in front of screens, and for office workers, this can be much more. Avoiding screens can be difficult, with many of us devoting a great deal of time to social media, reading articles online and watching TV. However, taking a break from our devices helps us to recover a little from the sensory overload we’re subjected to on a daily basis. Spending time away from screens, whether it’s by reading, listening to music, cooking, exercising, playing with our children or having a chat with a friend, is an effective way of giving our brains a break. If you find yourself scrolling through social media on autopilot, or turning on the TV without really thinking about it, pause and ask yourself if it’s time to take some time out. Check out how The mummy diaries archives a good nights sleep

6. Talk to a Therapist. Did you know now that you can talk to a therapist right from your home? If you're too busy to make it into an office to see a counsellor or you'd just feel more comfortable doing so from your house, you can find a psychologist online who can help you. 

mtb dog


We have been mountain biking for a few years. When we found out our current dog a Springador. Has mild hip dysplasia and could no longer hit the trails with us. It was then that we started looking for a new addition to the family that could be the ultimate trail dog. I grew up around pointers as My grandfather breed them. I know they have the energy and stamina and most importantly the love of running to make them the perfect trail companion. 

We scoured the internet for a pointer style puppy in our area. This is where we found a dalmatian puppy. 

We collected Mylo at a little over 16 weeks.  From the day we collected him. He has been about bikes. our house is full of them. From Trail bikes, Downhill bikes and even road bikes. He was well used to them. When he was small we had to work on recall as we knew this would be key to becoming a trail dog. 

We worked on our local beach starting with a long rope lead and treats, gradually building up his confidence and trust. Our local trails are Nevis range, Fort William. Mylo has been about the trail centre since he was a puppy. We would walk him down the trails. When we knew it was quiet and not to disturb anyone on the trails. 

Whilst Mylo was a puppy he was not on the trails. We consulted our vet about when to let him come with us. He informed us that dalmatians are not fully grown until 15-18 months. It is after this time that they can really hit the trails. So about the year mark after a lot of recall training. Mylo would come on very short trails.
He took to it like a duck to water. He immediately followed the bike. We started at a slow pace. Over the months as he grew his speed picked up the pace. 

Now he is faster than us and knows the trails better than us. He loves nothing more than heading down the world cup track at Fort William and even doing the jumps at the bottom. Much to the many tourist's delights and My embarrassment as He is better at them than I am. 

Mylo Always comes on the trails with his little backpack. This is a great way to keep him seen on the trails.  Which carries his water and some treats to keep him going. He also has a multi-tool, small pump and tyre levers and inner tube.  So he is an important member of the trail crew. if he hasn't got his bag on he has a very bright blue Ruffware harness. It is super important that he can be seen whilst on the trails to keep him and other riders safe. With Mylo being a Dalmatian he is very noticeable against the trails. 

It is important to remember that if your dog is hitting the trails to make sure you are adjusting their food and water intake to account for this. We also have Mylo on extra joint supplements to make sure to keep him in tip-top condition. We never let Mylo overdo it. His normal days range between 8-10 miles. He even has his own Strava account so we can keep an eye on his mileage and make sure he has the right about of rest. As a Dalmatian, he would run all day. But this is not good for them so It is important to know your dogs limited and just like a human he needs his recovery time. 

Our dog and bikes are so Important that we built a van conversion. We can now hit the trails more often. Mylo has travelled the UK hitting trails. From wales to Glentress he loves to find new trails to run down. 

You can follow Mylos adventures on his Instagram.  I am developing a new site for my mountain biking adventures with Mylo you can check it out. mtblm.com

Laura Martin