Blaming Others for Your Unhappiness

It is far easier to put the blame on someone else when things go wrong. You can blame your boss for how miserable your job is. You can blame your teacher for your inability to understand the lesson. 

it is far easier to put the blame on someone else when things go wrong. You can blame your boss for how miserable your job is. You can blame your teacher for your inability to understand the lesson. You can blame your romantic partner for your failing relationship. You can blame your parents for your emotional struggles. And you can even blame the government for the poverty that you suffer.

It actually makes you feel much better when you find fault in others because placing the blame on yourself opens you up to feelings of regret, guilt and even shame. Doing so makes you focus on your own flaws and mistakes. And this may allow feelings of worthlessness to set in.

But blaming others for your problems does not solve them. It only adds bitterness to your already miserable state. And by believing that others are at fault for your troubles removes your ability to take control of the situation. It renders you helpless and paralyzes you into simply accepting things as they are. In effect, it makes you surrender to your unhappiness.

Blaming others may very well be a defence mechanism because it protects your ego from the pain of seeing your failures. But it also distorts reality and hinders the possibility for any meaningful change to occur. Instead of engaging in this, it may be far better to take responsibility for the situation in which you find yourself. Doing this allows you the opportunity for self-realization, self-correction and further growth.

how to pick a backpackers hostel

Are you a backpacker who loves to travel around the world? Well, this post is much needed for you to pick the best hostel wherever you travel. After all, it is the accommodation that compliments your overall travel experience and brings you the utmost comfort after a tiring day. Especially when it comes to choosing a hostel, you expect to take away cherishable and memorable moments with you that last forever.

However, picking the right hostel is a tedious task, isn’t it? So, let's quickly look through how you can decide on the most appropriate hostel before you book your next travel:

Explore: Hostel is not just about staying, but it’s much beyond that! Hostels bring you a complete environment, where you experience the best of your time. So, before you jump to a conclusion, make sure to explore a few hostels and then decide which one to go for.  You can go through the hostel’s website and get a fair idea on its offerings to help you find the perfect one for you. Research thoroughly if the desired hostel has got ensuite, single rooms, dorm or deluxe rooms. Prior to making your decision, look for other amenities and also make sure to give them a call to clear all your queries. 

Inspect the price: You must keep the price in consideration but remember that cheaper is not always better! Just because the hostel is charging low, do not assume that the overall services would meet your expectations. If you are a solo traveller, you must look for affordable hostels but make sure you do not end up paying less but suffering more. A lot of cheap hostels may have cleanliness issues, uncomfortable bedding, and improper services. Thus, it is advised that you should go for a hostel that has moderate charges and also that offers a good deal of services. 

Inspect the room: This has much to do with the cleanliness. Often, the hostel might look appealing to you from outside but can be a real mess from inside. Before you decide to book your dorm, make sure to check the room and see if it is clean and hygienic. An unhygienic room can certainly spoil your experience and can disappoint you in many ways. While you inspect your hostel, check if the sheets and covers are washed, there is a seamless water supply, the rooms are neatly arranged and you have all the amenities right there in the room. 

Location: The location of your hostel matters a lot! Though it also depends whether you are looking to stay at the prime location of the city or looking for some lone time outside the city. Whatever you choose, make sure that you have the availability of cabs or other public transport to get you going around the city with ease. While considering the location of the hostel, think twice that how far it is from the airport/ station, is their good transportation facility, does it have good attractions, restaurants or nightlife and how safe is it. There are so many tips for staying safe when travelling so please check them out and stay safe. 

Check for hostel offerings: Make sure to look for luxuries and amenities offered by your desired hostel.  Check if your hostel provides you morning breakfast, locker facility, push-button showers, free wifi, bar, laundry services, dining halls, and other services. The more facilities you get, the better it is! With all the services, right a call away, your stay can be much more refreshing and worthy. 

Decide the type of dorm: While choosing your backpacker hostel, you must also decide the type of dorm you want to fit into. If you are looking forward to saving your money, you can pick larger dorms as smaller dorms are likely to charge you more. Also, if you are a solo traveller, and love to socialize with new people, make friends and share stories, going for larger dorms can be the right choice. On the other hand, if you are a person who likes to have privacy and not much chatter, you can go to smaller dorms or single rooms to avoid any disturbances.  

Look for a common area: It is good to have a good common room in a hostel that can accommodate many people at once. The best hostels are the one that allows their guests to interact and socialize as much as possible. As solo traveler are fond of meeting new people, hanging out with new friends and sharing great stories, during the morning or evening snack time, having a common area would encourage people to gel up with each other, create new stories and complement their overall stay at the hostel. 

Read the reviews: Last but not least, do not forget to read the reviews of the hostel where you intend to stay. It’s not wise to ignore the negative reviews. If you wish to go for the best hostel, reviews can really help you. While browsing for the hostel, also check their positive and negative reviews and pick your final one accordingly. Reading the negative reviews can get you an idea of what things can go wrong with you and get you a fair idea of where you need to clarify things with the hostel before you get it booked. 

None of you would like an unpleasant stay or any element of discomfort in a splendid travel tour. But unfortunately, there are many backpackers who don’t spend much time selecting the hostel and end up choosing the one which doesn’t suit their requirements at all. But, if you don’t want to make the same mistake, make sure to follow these pieces of advice and make your travel worthwhile. You never know, who may cross your path, what new experiences you get, and what new stories you create. Its all about the place you choose to stay and people you spend your time with. Following these hostel choosing hacks, your hostel will not just be a place to sleep or shower but to have a blast, make new friends and share amazing stories with fellow travellers!

Dealing With Unhappiness Through Positivity

If we know that all unhappiness leads to choices, we can be ready for alternative action and therefore we can stop wallowing in self-pity. Unhappiness can be a good thing if we learn to frame it in a different way.

I am unhappy when things do not go as I want. The unhappiness is due to unfulfilled desires. It happens when the rest of my world does not have the same view of a perfect world as I have. I think I have done a good job. My boss thinks otherwise and tells me so. I become unhappy. I couldn’t make it to a top B-school. I become unhappy.

As soon as I am unhappy, my thought process goes like this. I am right but they are not agreeing with me. If they were my friends, they would agree with me. So they are not my friends. Therefore I do not need to like them. Ergo, I will thwart all they want to do, because they have stopped me from following my wishes. I know that this thought process seems exaggerated in the cold light of day, but when we are unhappy, this is the sentiment.

Since I cannot thwart them, as I have no control over them, I feel incompetent. I have two reactions – either I try to control them (be it my significant other or my boss) or I wallow in self pity. Sometimes, I try to control and if that does not work, I wallow. While I wallow, more scenarios come to mind specially those that reinforce my belief. I love these thoughts because they justify my unhappiness and give a reason why I should not do anything.

The result of this mindset and lack of action is that people become genuinely unhappy with me and want to avoid my company. If the issue is at the workplace, the company wants to avoid me. I get fired.
Let me reframe unhappiness. When I am unhappy with the status quo, I want to change it. The desire to change can lead to action. Wallowing in self-pity is denying myself the opportunity for action. Sometimes I pay lip service to action, but I know that it will not work so that I can retreat into self-pity.

As soon as I am unhappy, I say to myself, “Yes, I am unhappy, therefore I need to change my status quo. What actions can I take?”

The impulsive or instinctive action of fight-flight is obvious. That is what animals do.

Do I have any other choices?

One choice could be to reframe my desire and really determine if this desire is a genuine need or wishful thinking. For example – I want a Rolex and I am unhappy I don’t have one. Do I really need one? What need does it satisfy? To prove to myself that I have money or to impress someone? If neither is necessary, or I can achieve the objective by another means, I don’t need the Rolex.

The other choice could be win some-lose some. Maybe I will agree in this case, so that I invest in a relationship which will yield something bigger later. For example, does it make sense to take up cudgels with my client just because of ego – to prove that I am right? If I agree with him now, will he agree with me later?

The third choice could be to determine an action plan of some duration, which leads to the change in the status quo. I sometimes want the complete change to happen overnight, and when that does not happen due to laws of nature, I get the reason to wallow in self-pity and stop the action. For example, if I am not satisfied with my weight, my desire is to do something so that I become thin overnight. When that does not happen, I get a reason to give up. I can create a plan with some intermediate checkpoints like losing 500 grams a month so that I can do 6 kilos in a year. The problem is my emotions and the desire for instant gratification.

My point is that I have more than one obvious choice. If I know that all unhappiness leads to choices, I am ready for alternative action and therefore I can stop wallowing in self-pity.

In essence, unhappiness can be a good thing.

Take your Dog Anywhere airtravel

Luckily for dog owners, these animals travel by air better than cats. If the dog is accustomed to car travel, then air travel shouldn't be a problem at all. Use the following dog air travel tips for safe and pleasant airline travel with your best furry friend.

Certify Your Dogs Health before Air Travel

Not only is dog air travel better for your dog if the dog is healthy, but it's actually the law. Federal law requires that a dog has been certified within 10 days of the trip to be healthy, vaccinated, and free from contagious diseases. This is very important for any pet travel, large or small.

Avoid Excessive Temperatures

Ensure the safety of your dog during air travel by never flying with your dog while temperatures are over 85 degrees or under 35 degrees, on either end of the flight. Many airliners put "heat embargos" and/or "cold embargos" on dog air travel during the summer and winter months respectively. This means that the airliners prohibit dog air travel during these times. This shouldn't be seen as a problem, because the airlines do it to prevent disease or death, and guarantee a safe flight for your dog.

Overseas Dog Air Travel May Involve Quarantine

For international dog air travel, keep in mind that some isolated countries, such as New Zealand and England, quarantine animals arriving by air. Before travelling and booking reservations, familiarize yourself with the laws, requirements, and procedures of your particular destination. Unless your flight is non-stop, remember that you may have to deal with regulations in multiple places.

Don't Tranquilize Your Dog During Air Travel

Although tranquilization may seem like a good idea during canine air travel, it isn't. Tranquillizers are the leading cause of death or sickness of dogs during air travel. A dog can't receive immediate or professional medical care during air travel, so unnecessary medications do more harm than good. In fact, many airliners reject tranquillized pets as a safety precaution.

Obedience During Dog Air Travel

Training your dog before airline travel is the best way to ensure a good flight. Unfortunately, even short air travel means hours of separation between owners and their dogs (except for service dogs). Your medium to large size dog will be confined to a shipping crate for the entire flight.

You can help relinquish the strain and discomfort on your dog by preparing him for dog air travel beforehand. Do this by getting your dog used to being inside a travel crate for extended periods of time. Also, make sure your dog works well with strangers, namely in busy, frantic, or uncomfortable environments. This will do wonders for travelling with your large furry companion.

Best Things To Do in Rome

The beauties of Rome extend across its landscape and are a compelling blend of the ancient Renaissance. Classically imposed are the Colosseum and Roman Forums, while the exterior of the Pantheon has a splendid structure. St. Peter's Square and Basilica are masterpieces of the Renaissance, while brilliantly ornate fountains and statues greet you at every turn of the city's streets.

When you enter the churches, churches, museums and galleries of Rome you will find awe-inspiring paintings and sculptures that cover all the eras and great names of Western art. These range from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel ceilings to Rafael and murals to murals depicting Bernini's magnificent fountains of caravaggio. A visit to Rome, however, is much more than a stroll through art and architecture. Sipping coffee or an aperitif in a street café, or while you're enjoying a beer in the vista from the rooftops and piazzas, is a part of the tourist experience in most romantic cities in this city.

It is easy to get away for a full day in Vatican City, west of the Tiber River. When you do this, you are entering the smallest state in the world. Cross the Tiber and with Via Della Conciliazione can pass Castel Sant'Angelo imposing ability before entering the Vatican. Finally, with the grandeur of St. Peter's Square its grand Bernini colonnade and central obelisk opens in front of you.

Across the square is the St. Peter's Basilica, which is topped by the highest dome in the world. Taking the stairs or the elevator to the viewing gallery is essential for spectacular views of an everlasting city.

While a trip to Rome is easy to fill with the cultural wonders found in every guidebook, it also has a hidden side. The city's population of wild cats is pampered at the Torre Argentina excavation site, which is a delight for passersby cameras, while the French-style gardens of Doria Pamphili near the district of Trastevere are often overlooked by visitors. The last resting place of the English Romantics, Shelley and Keats, is in Rome. They lie in the beautiful Protestant cemetery on Via Caio Cestio. With its grand marble monuments, it provides a peaceful respite from the bustle of the city.

What is the best time to visit Rome? 

Rome is a popular tourist destination around the year so use our travel tips to help plan your trip. In August, many locals take their vacations and head to the coast, so the city is pacified to close some neighbourhood shops and restaurants. The Holy Week of Easter is always a busy time, so it is advisable to book your hotel in advance.

With most museums closed on Mondays, the Vatican's museums are closed on Sundays, and the city is filled with small visitors every weekend, be flexible with your travel plans and travel from Tuesday to Friday. Not only museums and visitor attractions, but cafes and restaurants will be slightly less crowded.

What is the weather and climate in Rome? 

Try and avoid the summer months when the temperature is below 30 ° C. In contrast, the ideal months to get out of Rome's cafes and terraces are April, May, September and October. To really defeat the crowd, though, think about coming during the winter months. You'll need a warm coat and perhaps an umbrella, but the temperature is never less than freezing.

This is it. These are some of the things you can do while on your visit to Rome. Hope you have a memorable trip.

Looking for more travel information head over to my friend Rebecca's blog.