How I cope with depression

So when my depression and panic attacks reach ahead I could not leave my house not even to collect the mail from the letterbox outside our building.

Millie

It had been at least 2 months since I had left my house. When my fiancé at the time said the magic words. I had so longed to hear for years "I think it's time we got a dog". So we looked far and wide and found Millie she was 1 and a half when we got her.  She gave me a reason to leave the house. She needs to be walked and she needed to go to the toilet. This gave me a reason to leave the house. I had to look after Millie. From day one Millie bonded with me and she seems to understand my pain. Even when I spent hours crying she cuddled me and even licked my tears a few times. She knew she was here to look after me and to this day she still helps me in ways she and I will never understand. We would go out for walks and she wouldn't go too far as she seemed to know I was on edge. 

Therapy 

My job at the time caused my depression. I was bullied for having dyslexia. I was referred to occupational health and to a wonderful man called Adrian. Who gave me help in many ways including cognitive behavioural therapy. Now before I had any help I was a complete sceptic. I was brought up to not show my feelings and as you know my family have disowned me for having depression as I should snap out of it! "It's not a real thing" etc. but I had weeks of therapy and I could finally go out of the house further and further more importantly I could understand I can not control other people and I can only control myself and what I think. Although sometimes I let my thoughts run at a thousand miles an hour. 

Adrian also taught me ways to control my panic attacks and how to stop them from coming ahead. He gave me classes on my mind and what was happening when I would get into a cycle of overthinking and negative thoughts. 

Medication

I was put on what the Americas call Prozac. I was again not sure what to think about being put on "happy pills". But these have helped me they seem to clear my mind and just up my mood. 

I am still on these tablets and I hope to come off them soon. If you are hesitating about the medication I don't think I could have gotten through my depression without them in my life. F

My hubby 

My gorgeous man, he has helped me in so many ways he has held me whilst I cried, whilst I told him I didn't want to live anymore. He has listened to my same stories over and over and over my worries and nightmares. He has had a sleepless night with me crying endlessly. I honestly don't think anyone else would have been there for me like he was. 

Fitness

I have always liked to work out and getting back into fitness without pressure was a great way to pass my long days stuck in my mind. This gave me an escape for an hour a day. Space to think about nothing but the job at hand. 

Meditation  

I used to be an actress in another life or so it feels. I would YouTube a guided meditation when I started to feel a panic coming in and lie on my living room floor and let this wash over me and try to unravel my complicated thoughts. I really recommend this I think mindfulness is a great app. 

Loving my job & Moving house

I left my "dream job" this was the best thing for me. Not because I hated the job but because I had to get out of my situation. I can not work for an organisation who do not understand my dyslexia and have not willing to help me only make matters worse. My hubby was disgusted with my treatment so applied for another post an hour's drive away from where we worked which also gave us a free house so less pressure on me to have to find a job.  

I know this is not easy for everyone and this is just what helped me. Life is too short why stay somewhere that is making you miserable. My family have never understood why I would leave such a good job but for me, this was the best thing to do. 

As I write this I hope this helps at least one of you. I will do another post on this as this one is getting long 

The 10 thing you need to know as a bride to be!

1. No matter how laid back you are you will stress about your/Our Big day.
You will cry over stupid little details and some big details. The wedding will go ahead regardless. If some of the bridesmaids are in different colours of pink. Or the groom's man is so hungover he looks like he will pass out mid-speech. 

2. You will at least once a day say "Why are we doing this again to each other?" and "why didn't we run away and get married"

3. Yes, it is your/our day but secretly its got very little to do with you and it all about others. 

4. You will fall out with some of your family. You can't please everyone all the time and to be honest you should have to. But you will find your self stressing about the silliest things. 

5. There is always one awkward bridesmaid. you cannot please (lucky for me mine in no longer in the wedding). There is a high chance you will lose contact with most of your wedding party in years to come. 

 6. You will obsess about centrepieces, No one will mention your centrepieces. 

7. Your co-workers will be sick of hearing your latest wedding drama.
Oh my gosh, Susan, you will not believe what the caterer just said? Susan gets up to make her 10th coffee in two hours. 

8. You become strangely worried "your song" does not have the wording you would like to be your first dance song. you will obsess about the song and what people will think about it. Can you remember the last wedding you went to and they sang the bride and groom danced to Nope me either? 

9. You will have at least one person who is has a nut/meat vegan allergy. This is the life they will inform you one day before the wedding. Yes, you did ask for any dietary allergy issues on your wedding invite. They just forgot that they can not eat shellfish or they will die. 

10 You will not have seen 80% of your guests in 10 years+. leading to a lot of you thinking "and this is?" aw this is uncle bobs cat sitter who once babysat me when I was 4 how could I forget. 

how I look younger- what I do

Today I'm talking anti-ageing. I was actually discussing this with my friends the other day and thought. I'd write a post about it. I am one of those people who gets IDed all the time. Which sounds great right until it's your but it means I must look a lot younger right?

My fail-safe tips to looking younger. Now I am not going to lie I am blessed to look younger than I am. but I want to talk about how I stay this way and what I am considering in the future to keep me looking you.

Water.

I drink a lot of water, I really believe this helps my skin look and feel younger its keeps refreshed and plump. Which in turn makes it look younger. I have one of those huge 2.2l bottles. 

Alcohol.

I have to admit I don't drink very offend and I feel this saves my skin and body a lot of damage as after I do drink my skin breaks out and looks really dull. I can have one glass of wine and be fine but any and my skin is spot city. 


Moisturizer 
Ok, controversial I know but I only do this when my skin really needs it.
I know a lot of you will be screaming at the screen now but to be honest I really find this helps me not to break out. This is normally in winter when I have been outdoors more often. 

Working out 

I like to lead a healthy lifestyle and workout when I can and I really believe getting the blood circulating helps keep my skin younger. Really working up a sweat is not only good for your body it is good for your skin. As long as you keep hydrated at the same time. I don't sweat I glisten right? 

Chemical peel. 
I do monthly chemical exfoliating. I used The ordinary AHA 30% + BHA 2% Peeling Solution 30ml It's super cheap at £6.25 but I love it. You have to be careful and read the instruction this is after all a chemical exfoliator. But the results are amazing. When I get any dry patches this gets rid of them. It leaves my skin so soft. 

Face shaving
I shave my face. I hate the little peach fluff on my face and I remember watching Channon roses Youtube about face-saving and I haven't looked back since. This is also called Dermaplaning. It not only removes the peach fuzz but it removes the dead skin cells. DO NOT DO this anywhere near the chemical exfoliating mentioned above. I love the feeling of my face once I have had this done. I always get compliments about my skin after this treatment. 

So this is The top tips that I use to keep myself looking younger than I am. 

8 tips to creating a positive bedroom environment.

 

Here are my Top 8 tips for creating a positive bedroom environment. 

1. I like to have a clean and tidy space to retreat in, So I try to keep the bedroom clutter free. There is nothing quite like a good spring clean of your bedroom to add a feeling of relaxation to the room. 

2. I need a good bed. I like memory foam topped mattresses these are great for people like us who work out and can get injured easily. Comfort is key when it comes to a mattress. 

3. Bedding is so so important to me. I need soft and comfy as much as I like the look of satin sheets they are the worst thing in the world to sleep in. I hate being cold and I hate being cold. So I like thick covers in winter and thin ones in the summer. 

4. Technology ban at least once a week! We are all guilty of our bedtime Twitter and Instagram catch-ups aren't we? I know I spend far too much time on the iPad. yes, it is my job being a blogger but I also spend time shopping and on youtube. It's funny how much surfing I can justify in my head. This needs to stop. 

5. Following on from the above Speak to your partner communication is the most important part of a relationship. I am lucky that my hubby really listens to me and respects my needs as well as his. 

6. I love candle. My hubby will be the first to tell you, I have a powerful nose and I hate bad smells. I love nothing more than a nice candle. The smell combined with the lighting heaven. I find them relaxing just watching the light flicker. 

7. Have an early night. I do every night but some people are night owls and function better at night, remember there is a reason the sun goes down and our bodies need rest. 

8. Blackout blind. I need this in my life. I am one of those people, who just can't sleep in the light. I have been like this since I was little but when I worked shifts I only survived because of my pitch-black room. 

What are your top tips for sleeping like a baby?

On mothering Sunday- Why I am not having children.

Well, I am sat here on Mothering Sunday. Thinking about all things mother. I am that friend you have that. When there was a queue for a ticking biological clock  I was not there. Oops, I hate queues.
 I have thought about my decision long and hard and I am happy with it. I have lots of reasons why I don't want to have children and I thought today would be a good day to share them with you.

There are a lot of assumptions about a woman like me. besides that, I am going against the one thing humans are put on the earth to do.

image from pixabay.com

Let list them and I will answer them with my truth. This is a fun post. It is not intended to offend anyone.

1. You can't have children - as far as I am aware I could have children. I have never undergone any kind of fertility testing But I am assuming everything works.

2. You are selfish- Yes I am. I have never had that part of me that has a need for children. I suffer from mental health problems and I don't want to risk my sanity at this time.  I have no relationship with my mother due to feeling unwanted all my life. I am scared this would be something I would pass on. I know there are people who can not have children and I would gladly help them if I could.

3. You hate children- actually the opposite I love all my friend's children. They are lovely little beings and Yes I am good with them.

4. It is not fair on your husband/partner/ parents in law etc - I have since the start of my relationship been completely honest with my husband That I do not want children. I am lucky that he is the same.

5. You WILL change your mind- I am in my 30's and I haven't changed it yet.

6. You will never feel fulfilled as a woman. - Screw you, I am very happy with my husband and my furbabies.

7. You are using your dogs as surrogate children. - They are my children. Khaleesi has dragons. I have dogs. End off.

8. You will regret it in later life- I really don't think I will. I am happy with the way my life is. Both I and my husband enjoy spending time together. We do not need anyone else in our family. I will go in the same care home regardless if I have children or not.

I could go on. I have actually been in a position. Where someone has asked me why I don't have children and then said to my face "You must have fertility issues?" "You can try IVF?" If I had been having issues conceiving this would have crushed me. Why do people think this is an ok thing to say to anyone?

Our decision seems to give people the right to judge us and our lifestyle. If you are like me. It is ok to not have children. I am not saying this is for everyone. Everyone has the right to choose their life. I love all my friends with children and couldn't be more excited when new babies arrive. This does not mean that my ovaries will start twitching. It means I get to be the fun aunt again. I am happy to stand up for us woman, who has made a choice that childbearing is not for them.  It is, after all, a choice not a necessity in life.

I will always spill my tea on this site.

5 reasons for cleaning your home with lemon

image form pixabay

We all know that lemons smell nice and that, when used as a cleaning detergent, it subconsciously tells us that a room or place is clean. But did you know that when using lemons as a cleaning detergent, you will achieve a better result too?

1. Lemons leave a nice scent but lemon juice is a very potent ingredient in any cleaning detergent. When you put some lemon juice on a cotton ball or sponge that you place in a fridge or freezer, for instance, it will absorb foul odours and make the fridge or freezer smell nice again.

2. They also cut lemons in half and rub the cut side over dull pots and pans to make them shiny again. Once they’ve rub the half lemon over the pot or pan they will just wipe the pot or pan down with a soft cloth. Our cleaners often use the one half of the lemon to rub pots or pans while the other half is reserved for cleaning a cutting board. This board will be rubbed too and the result will be that the cutting will smell nice again. When there is no lemon available to rub the cutting board, they will simply use undiluted lemon juice to achieve the same result. This trick also works when you want to clean a wooden floor.

3. Lemon juice also works when you want to remove the stains in the armpits of long sleeve shirts. Just put some lemon juice on the stain and Bob is your uncle.

4. Once you think you are finished using the lemon, all you need to do is to cut it up in small pieces and throw it down the drains. This is not an alternative to dispose of it but will ensure that the drains will continue to smell nice no matter what it is that you flush down.

5. There are many more tricks where lemon juice would work to leave a nice scent. Did you know that insects and rodents don’t like the smell of lemon? Use that knowledge to prevent them from entering your home (again) by sprinkling some lemon juice on the windowsills and doorsteps. Spray some more in any crack or gap that insects and rodents can use to hide or make a nest. Before you know they will leave your place forever!

It is amazing to experience these small but very effective tips about using lemons for cleaning your home.

why you should choose carpet.

With tons of new flooring technologies nowadays, does this mean that nobody is using carpet anymore? Of course not. Several homeowners still prefer carpets over hardwood, tiles, laminate or vinyl in their houses. Getting a carpet for your home is beneficial in many ways. Let’s dive into the reasons you should choose carpets.

1. Slip Resistance

Your floor in its bare form has very less friction. With children playing in the house, they are susceptible to falls and injuries when running around the house. Getting a carpet can help protect not only your children but also the adults in the house. Imagine wearing stilettos on wet tiles…

Get a carpet for your house and you will reduce the chances of injuries and embarrassment. Search for carpets online and you will find some reliable sources to buy from.

2. Making You Warm

In the winter, small children and the elderly easily get cold. Getting a carpeted floor is recommended because carpet traps air between its wool, therefore, you are spared from the atmospheric cold. Providing warmth to your feet as well as making your home cozy, carpet is a beneficial utility.

3. Noise Reduction

It’s quite simple. Carpets acts as good sound absorbent compared to other flooring options such as wood and tiles. Sound waves are absorbed by the carpet instead of echoing it. Additionally, it gives your house or bedroom an extra layer of elegance when there is less noise of walking.

4. Reduction of Allergies and Diseases

There are deadly fungal particles in the atmosphere. If you don’t have a carpet at your home, these particles can cause athlete's foot by sticking to your feet. A carpet provides an additional covering to your feet. Even if you plan on walking barefoot, the carpet covering will protect your feet. Just make sure you regularly clean your carpet, so that probability of getting infections remains slim.